Well, you could start with some humour. That would be a good starting place...

 

Ouch. If you'd discarded the redundancy of starting at a starting place, that might even have raised a bruise...

 

I don't think I've ever seen you this sassy. It's a wonderful new layer.

 

Totally agree. Lmao

 

I did see it at the time. Sometimes I like to go with what comes to me. You could call it a minor peccadillo of mine.

 

Mmmmm picadillo tacos.

 

You dork!

Signed, You

 

My favorite word!

 

My thoughts on the lack of civility can be summed up by Morgan. I think a lot of us can relate to him right about now. Lol.

 

Letter to @Jen7,

I realize that you probably still think I'm a scumbag, a horrible person, a misogynist, etc., etc., and there is probably nothing I can ever do that will change that. I realize that, and I'm fine with that. That's not going to change what I'm about to say, and that is that I have a ton of respect for you, and I appreciate you putting up with my bullshit for over 80+ pages.

For you to participate in that debate the way you did, to share your honest opinions in the way that you did, was a very vulnerable thing to do. It was a very courageous thing to do. It's something not a lot of women would do. Every word you write on here can get used against you. Every mistake you make is out in the open for everyone to see. There's no covering it up. You're true character gets exposed, and there's absolutely nowhere to hide. It's a huge risk to participate in a debate like that. But nevertheless, you took that risk. And that's why many of your friends on this forum, though they themselves chose to not participate for the vast majority of the thread, never stopped reading the thread, and never stopped cheering you on. Because what you were doing was truly admirable.

During our debate, you might disagree, but I think we both had our share of triumphs, and I think we both had our share of pitfalls. Many of our own flaws got exposed. It's a shitty feeling, to have your flaws laid to bare out in the open (for me at least). But upon reflecting, I realize that it's nothing to be ashamed of, because no one is perfect. We're just one of the few who, on this topic, had the courage to put it all out there.

So while I still disagree wholeheartedly on many of your views, that is not a big deal to me anymore. I still have the utmost respect for you as a person.

To reinforce this fact, I want to re-iterate something I said during the debate that I don't think sunk in the first time.

When Chloe Dykstra released her essay, sirens sounded off in my head. I was stricken with doubt. And as the weeks went on, those sirens only grew louder. She gave me many reasons to doubt her. And it wasn't like I made some conscious decision to doubt her. Maybe she is 100% genuine, but something about her just rubs me extremely the wrong way.

But when I read your personal story during the debate, no sirens ever went off in my head. Even to an evil "misogynist" like myself, your story felt honest. It felt relateable. Not once did it ever cross my mind that you could be making any of it up, or doing it for attention, etc., etc. No negative feelings ever sprung up from reading your story, and that's why I felt comfortable sharing my own personal story with you in response, even in the midst of a heated debate. Because I believed you were an honest, caring person (and still do), and I felt comfortable opening up to you.

As for myself - I realize I have a ton of issues I need worked out. I probably could use some therapy. In a way, that debate was therapeutic for me, because it gave me the opportunity to get a lot of feelings off of my chest that I've never been able to before. What you saw in that thread was me releasing a lot of feelings that have been bottled up inside for a very long time, almost reaching a boiling point. Hence why, like I said in the opening paragraph, I'm very thankful to you for putting up with my bullshit and engaging with me. And now that it's been done, hopefully now, I can begin the process of truly moving on from whatever negative experiences may have happened to me in the past.

So yeah, in closing, regardless of how you may feel about me, I just want to say thank you. I think you're an extraordinary person, a leader, a revolutionary. A much better person than I am. And I wish you all the best.

 

Wow I was not expecting that...thanks BadassRick for the kind words. I also appreciate you putting it all out there in the Hardwick thread...we may disagree on many things but it takes a big person to come out on the other side with respect for someone who things got heated with. I wouldn't go so far as saying you're an evil misogynist...I think in the context of the debate topic there were many things I interpreted as misogynistic, but it sounds like you've been mulling things over and thinking about it, and that's great. Those conversations are tough to have...I know it affected my stress levels which is why I had to stop participating after a while. But the important part is that it got us all thinking about the topic and hearing other peoples' point of view...that's never a bad thing. As for the therapy, I think we could all use it We all have past experiences that have given us baggage and in an ideal world we would all see a regular therapist to keep up with our mental health just like we would see the dentist. So nothing wrong with that!