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first ever attempt at writing fan fiction

Discussion in 'Zombie Fan Fiction' started by walkerjames1, Feb 26, 2014.

  1. walkerjames1

    walkerjames1 New Member

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    this is my first ever attempt at writing anything other than reports and essays for school and college, so be gentle with your criticism please, but i would really like advice on how to improve it for further chapters, keep in mind this is only chapter one so it's not going to be action packed or anything.

    Chapter 1 – In the Beginning

    An ex, what’s the actual definition of an “ex”. Over the short 20 years of my life I have plenty “exes”, none are the same yet they come under the one title. Some are crazy and want me dead, some are the other end of crazy and want my baby, then there is the one who became my best friend, the one who we still really like each other but can never be together, and then there is the kinky one who still wants to just take me for the ride of my life. I was always a shy kid at school, with my autism and all, but outside of school thanks to Facebook and friends I managed to get my fair share of girls, the relationships never seem to last but the sex is always great. Over my years I have lost many friends but gained so many exes, almost all my friends now are female. If this is good or bad only time will tell, but sure has its positives. Don’t get too distracted by this though, this is not a story of James Urquhart sex addict, this is the story of James Urquhart survivor…

    This story begins in the well-known city of Glasgow, Scotland. It has a large Irish and Scottish heritage, and history of violence between Catholics and Protestants, especially recently related to football teams Celtic and Rangers. When Rangers went into administration and the club “died”, they were re-created but forced into the bottom league to force their way up again, as a result all their fans were then branded “zombies” obviously this was humorous to me at the time as I am a die-hard Celtic fan. Recently though the humour has worn off as there is a much less humorous type of undead out there. Something more dangerous and unpredictable than anything mankind has encountered before. People are dying and coming back to take their families and loved ones with them, they’re even taking strangers with them too. There has been many stories told from this world that relies on hope, but this is mines.

    Everyone on the news channels keeps mentioning the outbreak, telling everyone to stay indoors and the statement from the Prime Minister that this situation will pass. Truth is, I never trust politicians, especially the conservatives, ever since Maggie Thatcher, Scotland hasn’t been the same. No one knows where it started or what caused this havoc but everyone seems to be scared of it. After only 24 hours there were reports from all over the world of these monsters. I wasn’t too worried about it all at first, but when the army was said to be arriving within the next few days that’s when I started to panic. The first thing I should have thought about is my family, but instead I was worried for Megan and Denise.

    Megan O’Hara is a beautiful strawberry blonde 19 year old who I used to have a relationship with, we lasted 3 months before we had to break up due to her step father finding out he has cancer, she needed space and we remain friends. She wouldn’t survive alone in this world, not with her anxiety. So I instantly texted her suggesting her family move from her house in Stepps to our house in Balornock until all this blows over or at least calms down. But stupid me also still has feelings for my other ex, Denise, she is overly jealous of Megan and hates her. So when I invite her too she aggressively declines.

    There is a banging on our front door. Everyone in our house looks at each other with fear in our eyes. My dad grabs a huge kitchen knife and slowly opens the door, it’s my Grandfather (James), Grandmother (Cathy), uncle Ronnie, auntie Donna, and my little cousins Katie and Liam. We all spend the night watching Family Guy, laughing away as if nothing is happening to rot the world outside the windows.

    I wake up at 3am with a loud screeching sound followed by a thud. I ran downstairs and looked out the window, I couldn’t believe my eyes. It was Megan running towards my house. She had been driving her family to my house when her cancer stricken step dad had turned into one of those things and took a bite out of her brother, causing her to crash in fear. I unlocked the door and let her in the house and I watched at the window as she sat on the couch crying a river over what she just witnessed. This is a true reminder that this world we live in now is only getting worse. I notice that more and more of the undead have appeared near the car wreckage. The sound seems to have attracted them for some reason. I sit down beside her and ask if she’s okay. “no” she replies with a quick glance straight into my eyes. I don’t know what to say, I was never any good at these situations in the normal world. I sit down beside her, pull her towards me and hold her tight, stroking her hair. I know that no words could fix what she is feeling right now.

    We manage to survive three days in the house before we run out of food, luckily this is the time the British Army showed up to create a base at Glasgow Central train station. Naturally the whole family decide the best thing to do is make our way into the city centre to get to the station. My mum, dad, sister, Megan and I all plan on taking my dad’s car, while my uncle, aunt, granddad, grandmother, and two cousins all squeeze into my uncles minivan. My mother is a nurse so she makes sure she packs all her first aid equipment into a bag for emergencies. All the men arm themselves with hammers and knives to fend off the monsters outside. I make sure Megan stays behind me, but suddenly I notice her step dad and brother. They are slowly walking towards us, dragging their feet behind their lifeless movements. I freeze to the spot, just staring at the huge chunk missing from her brother’s neck, wondering how on earth anyone could take a bite this big out of anyone. Megan just bursts into tears again, this is understandable though. Suddenly I see a knife slice through his head, and hear my dad shout “Hurry up James, we don’t have all day!” I grab Megan’s arm and drag her to the car, shoulder tackling any walking corpse out of my way.

    As we drive past the Springburn police station we notice a whole squad of dead police officers walking around the stations car park. I guess this answers the question as to where the police have been the last few days. Luckily we stayed close enough to the town centre to beat the rush to get here. There was only around a ten minute walk from the tail backed road that we had to walk. There were army barricades with armed soldiers keeping the undead at bay for everyone to get to the station safely.
     
  2. Joe Tremblay

    Joe Tremblay Member

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    Nice! Keep it going!
     

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