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"No Secrets Between Us"

Discussion in 'The Walking Dead Fan Fiction' started by Rapscallion, Jun 19, 2016.

  1. ShaneFan

    ShaneFan Well-Known Member

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    @Rapscallion -- Chapter 8 was great! You have all the characters mannerisms, personalities, and quirks written very well. I can hear their voices. Abraham's dialogue with Morgan had me laughing so hard. I liked the tension between Morgan and Daryl in the beginning. I enjoyed seeing Michonne taking charge, and how she reminded Spencer that she recognizes and respects what his parents did for Alexandria. I really loved the foreshadowing of Negan by having the cross made with a bat with barbed wire. That was a great touch! I enjoyed the action with the Wolves. I like the quote about death from the Wolves...this is one group that remains a mystery to me on TWD. Every other group, I got a good sense of. This one was...weird and cultish. I don't really know. I like Glenn and I like that Heath is in this chapter...he seems to have fallen off the show, so it was nice to see him mentioned here. I agree with everyone that the pics were a nice touch! Keep up the awesome work! Will read and review Chapter 9 soon!
     
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  2. Rapscallion

    Rapscallion Well-Known Member

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    ShaneFan,

    Thanks for reading and reviewing.

    I'm glad you enjoyed Morgan and Abraham's dialogue. Morgan's quotes are directly taken from that Aikido book (I found a website that featured direct quotes from the book) and I'm being forced to be more "direct" with Abraham's cursing.

    Spencer is just a spoiled brat. Michonne tried to remind him that everyone appreciates what his parents did for Alexandria, but all Spencer cares about is himself. After Spencer called Michonne a bitch, I'm sure she's done trying to help him deal with his grief.

    I'm glad you enjoyed seeing Heath in this chapter. I originally had Heath and Glenn debate Rick's leadership, but I thought the chapter was getting too repetitive, so I deleted it along with a scene of Abraham talking to the RPG sitting beside him in the Del Arno Foods truck.
     
    #182 Rapscallion, Apr 2, 2017
    Last edited: Apr 2, 2017
  3. TheSlayingTaco1

    TheSlayingTaco1 Well-Known Member

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    Rapscallion,
    Great chapter! I'm finally caught up. Where shall I begin? You've gotten the mannerisms of the characters so well. I love that about your writing.

    I really enjoyed Daryl's flashback with Merle. I remember a user on here mentioned the robbery of the camp in a "Television series" post. I completely forgot about it since It has been awhile since I watched the first 2 seasons. You put a great since of realism in that part. Because the tv series never went back on it.

    I loved the continuing arc of the wolves especially reading about Mikey Hanks! That last name. Yes!!!! You tied it well with Negan.

    All these secrets the characters is going through is very deep and feels I'm getting inside thier head.

    Carl and Enid was perfect! Loved the flashback sequences and how he really feels about Carol. Enid is so sweet to gain more trust and bond with Carl. More scenes with these two please!

    Lastly, I really enjoyed this chapter and can't wait for more.
     
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  4. Clare Retterer

    Clare Retterer New Member

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    If you like Richonne fanfiction, and dare I say good writing, please give my fic a read. I'm trying to get it out there and I hope this is an okay place to do that. Quite a bit of Caryl in this story too!

    https://m.fanfiction.net/s/12023515/1/Flesh-and-Bone
     
    • Friendly Friendly x 1
  5. Rapscallion

    Rapscallion Well-Known Member

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    Thank you, Clare Retterer, and welcome to the forum.

    I'm currently rewriting my fanfiction and posting them on FF.NET, so I'll see you over there. :cool:
     
  6. Clare Retterer

    Clare Retterer New Member

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    Awesome! I see you followed my story...thank you so much!! Let me know what you think. I'll definitely be looking you up to!
     
    #186 Clare Retterer, Jan 16, 2018
    Last edited: Jan 16, 2018

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