"Semantics"

Last, time, on THE FLOATING DEAD….
Shane and Merle are leading Andrea, Amy, Lori, Duane, and Guillermo
into the woods to find Sophia. Using the tracking skills just taught
to him by Merle, Duane has found her.
T-Dog, Jacqui, Axel, and Jenner remained behind at the camp, under the
leadership of Dale.
The camp is being protected by the Vatos, led by Felipe (a male nurse).
Jenner is getting stoned in the box truck filled with prescription marijuana.
Unbeknownst to Dale, Jacqui and Axel snuck in the RV to get it on.
But Venkeman has just arrived, with an army of Ghostbusters.


And Now…. THE FLOATING DEAD…..


Ghostbuster station wagons flew into the camp.
Venkeman: Let’s fry these spooky bastards! Free six-pack to whoever
bags the most slimeballs!
The Ghostbusters were everywhere, blasting every ghost they saw.
There were at least 20 of them.
T- Dog ran toward the RV as Dale climbed down.
T-Dog: We gotta’ get the hell outa’ here!
Dale: What about the others. They’re off in the woods somewhere still.
T-Dog: Fine, then we’ll head that way. Let’s just go.
Dale: What if we don’t find them? We should stay here and try to hide
from these guys. Wait until they leave.
T-Dog: If they find us, we’ll be trapped. And what if the others
return before the Ghostbusters leave? They’ll be walking right into a
trap.
Felipe: Don’t worry. The Vatos will deal with these putos.
Dale: Oh, Thank goodness.
T-Dog: What the **** you mean, thank goodness?!? This mother****er’s a
male nurse! What the **** is he gonna’ do to them guys?!?
Felipe: Hey! Me and my crew are warriors!
T-Dog: No offense bro, but anyone tougher than Glen, and you guys are
whopped. And I ain’t talkin’ badass walker killing season 3 Glen
either. I mean non-fighting, easy to beat season 1 Glen.
Felipe: Man, you lucky I told G I’d take care of your asses, or I’d
leave you to them right now.


Just then, Jenner came out of the box truck, surrounded by a cloud of
smoke. He ran toward them.
Jenner: What in god’s name is going on out here? Can’t a man work in peace?
Dale: Work? You’re just getting high!
Jenner: Let’s not play semantics.
T-Dog: It’s Venkeman again. And he’s brought reinforcements this time.
Jenner: Oh shit…
T-Dog: Yeah… We’re screwed.
Abuella (Felipe’s grandmother): Felipe is a good boy. He protect us.
Dale: Yes, I’m sure he will Madame.


ZAP! Electricity ripped past the camper, as Venkeman himself targeted
the group. Jenner shoved Abuella(Felipe’s grandmother) into the
stream.
Jenner: Save us, Little Yoda Lady!
Felipe: Abuella! You bastard! You killed my grandma!
Jenner: Technically, that guy killed her.
T-Dog: Holy Shit. Now that was ****ed up.
Dale: That is by far the most evil thing I’ve ever seen anyone do.
Not even Shane sacrifices little old ladies. That’s just mean, man!
Jenner: Listen, we can stand here arguing all day over who’s right and
who’s wrong.
T-Dog: No, I think pretty much everyone here can agree that you’re
definitely wrong.
Jenner: Fair enough. But we have to decide if her sacrifice was in
vain, or if it meant something.
Dale: It wasn’t her SACRIFICE! It was cold blooded MURDER!
Jenner: Again with the semantics. The point is that we can still get
out of here.
T-Dog: He’s right. We gotta’ head for the woods.
Jenner: Good. Now let’s focus on what’s really important.
Dale: Yes.
Jenner: Priority one is saving my Pot Mobile.
T-Dog: What?!?
Dale: Are you insane?!?
Jenner: No, I’ve never been more serious than I am right now. Cover
me! I’m going for it!


Jenner started running toward the box truck.
T-Dog: Man, **** him. Get in the RV. We’re outa’ here.
Dale: What about Jacqui and Axel?
T-Dog I haven’t seen them. They could be anywhere. Maybe they
already ran. Hell, they could be dead by now. Wherever they are, we
can’t help them.
Dale: I guess you’re right. Let’s go.


They sprinted up the steps into the RV, and froze in their tracks.
Lying on the table was a shirtless Axel. Sitting on his face, facing
toward the door, was a bottomless Jacqui. She was rocking like a
cowboy at the rodeo.
Jacqui: Woooo-Hoooo! Yeah little man! Go to Work!
T-Dog: Damn!
Dale: Jacqui?!? What the hell are you doing?
Jacqui: Oh shit! Don’t y’all know how to knock?
She jumped up, grabbed her pants and hurried to put them on.
T-Dog: Are you for real with this shit? With Axel?!?
Axel: Hyuk! I know, right!
Jacqui: (with a shy, slight grin) It was just a little oral work to
get me through the day.
Dale: Oh my, this is just plain disgusting.
Jacqui: Coming from you? We all seen you naked. I’m pretty sure
they’d rather see me than you.
Axel: I would.
T-Dog: Yep. Me too. But Axel?
Jacqui: What’d you want me to do? Sit around waiting for you to make
a move forever?
Axel: Yeah, She’s with me now. Take care in how you address my lady.
Jacqui: Easy cowboy, this was just a onetime thing.
Axel: But….but…what about MY turn?
Jacqui: Sorry sweetie, but you never were getting one. There’s not a
chance in hell I was ever going to touch whatever it is you have down
there.
Axel: But..you said…
Jacqui: What I said was that I was going for a mustache ride. I
never said anything about returning the favor.
T-Dog: Ouch! Player just got played!
Dale: Wow. And I thought what Jenner did was mean.
Jacqui: What’d Jenner do?
T-Dog: Don’t matter. We gotta split. There’s Ghostbusters all over the place.
Dale: Buckle up. We’re rolling out.
Axel: Dagnabit! I’m still gonna’ be a virgin.
T-Dog: Hey, you got further than you ever got before.
Axel: That’s true.
T-Dog: And you probably had some fun while you were at it.
Jacqui: Yeah he did. I saw that mustache curl up.


BOOM! The RV was hit by something and shook violently.
Axel: What in damnation was that?
Dale: We were hit by a stray blast! Just hold on.
Jacqui: I see the box truck over there. Where’s Jenner?
T-Dog: We can’t save him now. Just head for the woods.
Dale put the pedal to the floor. The engine roared as the RV flew
past the box truck and into the woods. The slaughter of the Vatos by
the Ghostbusters continued behind them.

 

Lol. My masterpiece from a few years back.