Closest guesser wins an almost no expenses paid trip [aside from airplane ginger ale] to Tea Bag Basement, where @Jen7 and @PepperAnn will tie you to the back of Monsignor Afterborth, a Narrow Headed [but not minded] softshell turtle who is a life long Tom Cochrane fanatic with a speech impediment, using fly paper. At the opposite end of the hall, @LadyGrimes will recite her rendition of Life Is A Highway using a wax kazoo. In between Monsignor Afterborth and LadyGrimes will be located a long line of animals, which you will pass under as M.A. runs to the sound of his favorite tune, effectively resulting in you being Tea Bagged by each and every one, including but not limited to, a hippopotamus with crabs, a crab with ringworm, and a ringbilled platypus with mild chronic fatigue. And John C. Reilly.

Upon reaching your destination, you will be given the option of buying photographs of each animal's balls as your face is dragged across them, at one dollar a piece or $25 for a collage. All proceeds go to the 'Get @Apollonia to Vegas!' foundation.

Rumor has it that when Afterborth was asked to participate in the prize, he responded, "thure, anything for thome thits and giggles"




Hmmm, I don't know...people are looking forward to a fight. And the superbowl ad may have snatched a few...I'm going with 13.1 million.

 

eh, no one really wants to watch a bunch of old women with walkers complaining their soup is too cold anyway.

 

And this isn't a guess!!!

 

That's totally fine, but no smoking and avoid the upstairs bathroom. There's a dead body in it, and plus I don't want you to find out I use Oil of Olay.

 

No, I always acquire a lisp when asking a girl out, and then my mouth climbs up and disappears into my nostril.

 

No. In the case that a prize participant actually wins the prize, her role is taken over by an animatronic Orville Redenbacher. So you can still claim your prize.

 

Not a bad way to go.

Although I'd rather die peacefully in my sleep like my great grandfather Hornsteen, and not screaming and on fire like the passengers of his car.