Not yet, but there's actually something planned for him coming up very soon. Thanks for tuning in.

 

I don't know. I guess just to have a higher body count. I was rewatching season 1 last week and noticed them. I was like wait, who's that guy, who's that lady. And they show up in the background of almost every camp scene, but none of them ever say anything.

 

"Carried Away"

Last, time, on THE FLOATING DEAD….


The background characters from the Atlanta camp in the first few
episodes of season 1 of TWD have returned – and they’re not happy.
They blame Shane for not protecting them in the battle that Amy died
in. But that’s not all. It turns out that when they became ghosts,
Ghost Ed was in the camp and behaved like a laundry Nazi. He ran Amy
off into the city, and the nameless forgotten characters into the
woods. There, they met up with other ghosts, got weapons, and learned
to fight. They became even angrier that as a ghost, Shane seemed to
come back for Ed, but not them. Now the army of forgotten ghosts
stands ready for war, weapons drawn on Shane’s crew of thirteen
ghosts.


And Now…. THE FLOATING DEAD


The army raised their weapons.


Older Black Ghost: Ed was right. This ain’t no comedy club.
Shane: Nah, it ain’t!
Shane shot the Older Black Ghost in the head. As he fell, the
forgotten army opened fire. Shane’s crew dove for cover behind some
cars. Most of them drew weapons. Shane, Merle, Andrea, T-Dog, and
Guillermo returned fire.


Lori grabbed Duane’s hand and started running towards the RV.
Lori: C’mon, Carl! We gotta get you in the house.
Duane: Bitch, what’s wrong wit you?!? That ain’t no dam house, and I
sure as hell ain’t no Carl!
Lori: I’m sorry… I just thought… I mean..
Duane: You thought what? You feel like you ****ed up with your kid,
so you’d make it up by sheltering me?
Lori: Oh god…I guess..uhhh…
Duane: Look at me. DUANE. Not Carl. DUANE.
Lori: You’re right. I…
Duane: Listen lady, it’s cool. I’m sure you did the best you could
for your kid. Hell, he’s still alive when I ain’t, so I guess you did
better than my momma.
Lori: Hey, that’s true. Maybe I really could be mother of the year.
Duane: Whoa, now. Hold up. Let’s not get too carried away there. I
didn’t say all that.
Lori: But I kept him safe, then I died to save my daughter. And now
I’m saving you. My nickname should be Super Mom.
Duane: Ok, Whatever, lady. Listen, I’m not Carl. I spent a lot of
time stranded as a ghost on my own before you people found me. I’m a
lot tougher than he was. Don’t get me wrong, he’s getting’ there.
But I’m still more gangster.
Lori: Yeah, plus you’re black, so that helps.
Duane: What?
Lori: Sorry, I didn’t mean it that way.
Duane: Sure, fine. Look, Let’s just get back over there and help the
crew. I don’t know these mother****ers, but they’re shootin’ at us,
so I say we help kill em’.
Lori: Ok then. Let’s do it.
Lori and Duane drew pistols and ran back towards the others.


Meanwhile, the others had been locked in a fierce gun battle.
Jacqui: Just stop shooting at us! We can work this out!
Older Ghost Woman: It’s too late for that! Shane shot our leader! Now
he’s dead again!
Jacqui: He threatened us. What was Shane supposed to do? He’s gone
now. Killing others won’t bring him back.
Older Ghost Woman: We could never be friends anyway! You didn’t even
invite us to the Fish Fry!
Jacqui: Are you shitting me?!? That’s what’s got you so pissed off?!?
The hell with you nut jobs.
Jacqui started shooting alongside the others.
Andrea: Yeah, the saftey’s off bitches!
Amy: (in the most manly voice she could manage)No Fish For YOU!
Guillermo: Say HELLO to my Little FRIEND! (as he fired a large automatic rifle)
Merle: Heh –heh. I like this guy.
Jenner: Yes, killing people is actually quite fun. I spent so much
time trying to cure them befor, I never thought about how enjoyable
the opposite might be.
Axel: Hey, before ya’ kill em all, see if they got any single non-lesbians.
T-Dog: Man, is that the only damn thing you ever think about?!? For
once, Just stop thinking about getting you dick wet and focus on the
task at hand.
Axel: I’m sorry man! I just don’t wanna’ die a virgin!
Everyone stopped shooting, turned, and stared at Axel.
Dale: Are you serious?!? Oh, you poor fella.
T-Dog: My bad man. I had no idea.
Merle: Damn, man. At your age? Your life must suck.
Shane: All right, all right. First order a business once we get out
of here gettin’ this man laid. Now let’s focus here, people.
Axel: Now that sounds like a plan!
Shane: Ok, Dale, you and Andrea hustle back to the RV. Get up on the
roof and do sniper duty.
Dale: We’ll try.
Andrea: I Got this.
Shane: Good. Merle, take Jenner and double back around. See if you
can sneak up on em’ and take some out quietly.
Jenner: Fantastic! I’m going on a mission.
Merle: Just stay quiet and stick with me Doc.
Jenner: I’m like the proverbial mouse.
Merle: Just shut up and c’mon.


So Shane, T-Dog, Guillermo, Lori, Amy, Jaqcui, Axel and Duane layed
down cover fire. First, Dale and Andrea ran to the RV. They
proceeded up the ladder to the roof.
Then, Merle and Jenner crept away quietly. But everyone else was so
focused on the battle, that they failed to notice poor Sophia. With a
blank look on her face, she picked up a meat cleaver and a saw. She
silently followed Merle and Jenner.

 

"Bonanza"

Last, time, on THE FLOATING DEAD….
The war vs the Forgotten, nameless characters of season one’s Camp
Atlanta has begun, with a bullet fired by Shane into the head of their
leader. Shane, T-Dog, Guillermo, Lori, Amy, Jaqcui, Axel and Duane
are manning the front line, ducking behind some cars and returning
fire. Dale and Andrea are atop the RV, attempting to snipe as many
enemies as possible. Merle and Jenner are on a stealth mission to
sneak onto the Forgotten’s flank and thin their ranks. Nobody
realizes it yet, but Sophia followed them with a meat cleaver and a
saw.


Oh, and it turns out that the reason why Axel is such a pervert is
that he is still a virgin.


And Now…. THE FLOATING DEAD


BLAM!
Dale: You only got his shoulder, Andrea. I thought you were supposed
to be this great shooter now.
Andrea: I’d like to see you do better old man.
BLAM!
Dale: Old man? Young Lady, I’ll have you know that I happen to be an
excellent shot.
Andrea: Oh yeah? Why don’t you put your money where your mouth is?
BLAM!
Dale: What do you have in mind?
Andrea: Ever play strip poker? Same idea, only with killing people
instead of cards.
Dale: Oh, now that’s a little perverse.
Andrea: Don’t tell me I’ve hooked up with a chicken.
BLAM!
Dale: I’m no chicken. I just didn’t want you to have to parade around
nude in public. Rather keep that view for myself.
Andrea: I’m not scared if you’re not.
Dale: Ok, if that’s the way you want it.
BLAM!
Dale: Loose that first shoe there, young lady.
Andrea rolled her eyes and began unlacing one of her shoes.


Meanwhile…..
Merle and Jenner came up through the woods quietly. Merle snuck up
behind one of the enemy, put his hand over his mouth, and cut his
throat. He carefully lowered the lifeless ghost to the ground. Then
he turned to Jenner and held up his stump with the bayonet.
Merle: (whispering) Knife hand.
Jenner: (whispering) Oh yeah? I can do Jazz Hands.
Jenner started dancing.
Merle: (whispering) Knock it off man. You’re gonna’ get us caught.
Jenner: (whispering) Oh, right. Ok, let me try.
Jenner stabbed a long bladed knife through the back of another enemy’s
neck, going all the way through his throat.
Jenner: (whispering) Ooh, that worked well.
Merle: (whispering) Good job Doc. You’re a fast learner.
The two of them continued creeping along and silently killing the few
warriors of the Forgotten who stood far enough away from the main
group. Eventually, they made their way to the back of the box truck.
Jenner opened the door and looked inside.
Jenner: (whispering) Bonanza! If I believed in a god, I’d be thanking
him right now.
Merle: (whispering) What the hell are you doing? Get over here.
Jenner: (whispering) You have to see this.
Merle: (whispering) What is it?
Jenner: (whispering) You wouldn’t believe me if I told you. It’s
something you have to behold with your own eyes.
Merle crept to the truck and peered in over Jenner’s shoulder. His
eyes opened as wide as they could.
Merle: (whispering)Christ on crutches! I don’t believe this shit.
Jenner: (whispering) Believe it my friend. We’ve found true bliss.
Merle: (whispering) Damn man! We’re supposed to taking these bastards
out. Tryin’ ta give our guys a fightin’ chance.
Jenner: (whispering) Merle, an opportunity like this comes along only
once in a lifetime. Scratch that. Not even once in a lifetime. If
you pass on this chance for true happiness, you’ll never forgive
yourself. You will always regret your decision. Do you know what
it’s like to live with regret, Merle?
Merle: (whispering) Hey! I don’t regret shit man! I lived my life
how I lived my life. I ain’t apologizin’ for nothin’.
Jenner: (whispering) Can you honestly stand there and tell me you took
advantage of every opportunity you ever had to do something great?
Merle was silent, as he had a flashback of his final days at the
prison. The words of the group echoed in his mind. Michone: “We can
both go back.” Carol:”Are you with us?” Daryl:”I just want my
brother back.”
Merle: (whispering) Maybe there’s one or two regrets.
Jenner: (whispering) Let’s put an end to that cycle of regret, friend.
Now is your time.
Merle nodded his head, and the two of them climbed into the back of
the box truck, closing the doors behind them. Unnoticed, Sophia
watched from behind them, a cold stare on her face, meat cleaver and
saw in her hands.


Meanwhile….
Shane, T-Dog, Lori, Jacqui, Amy, Guillermo, Axel, and Duane were still
crouched down behind the cars, attempting to return fire on the
Forgotten. But they were under heavy fire, and only able to return
shots here and there. Other than that, they were forced to stay low.
Suddenly, something hit Shane in the head from the opposite direction.
Shane: Ow! What the hell was that?!?
Lori: It looks like Andrea’s belt.
T-Dog: Damn it! What the hell are those two doing up there?
Axel: I dunno, but I want in.
Amy: My sister’s already got one creepy guy to please up there. She
doesn’t need another. No offense.
Jacqui: Your sister and her racist old man are a couple of real
assholes. Our asses are on the line down here.
Duane: I should’ve went with Sophia. I could’ve done more.
Lori: What? Where’d Sophia go?
Duane: With Merle and the Doctor.
Jacqui: Oh boy. Look out, here she goes with them motherly skills again.
Shane: Maybe that’s why it seems like they ain’t getting nothing done
on their end.
Guillermo: Man, ain’t nobody getting nothing done. Your plan failed,
dog. We’re all gonna get killed out here. I ain’t dyin again!
Suddenly, Guillermo jumped up and ran. They hollered for him to come
back, but he ignored them and kept running. It wasn’t long before
they couldn’t see him at all anymore.
Shane: I knew we couldn’t trust that little shit.
Amy: Oh no, now who’s going to get us toilet paper?
T-Dog: Really? That’s what bothers you the most right now? Worrying
about some damn toilet paper?
Jacqui: To be fair, it is what got her killed the first time.
Click. Click. Shane’s rifle was out of ammo. It seemed as if the fury
of bullets from the Forgotten was getting heavier by the minute. They
all crouched in horror.

 

"Lemonade"

Last, time, on THE FLOATING DEAD….
The war vs the Forgotten, nameless characters of season one’s Camp
Atlanta has taken a turn for the worse.
Shane, T-Dog, Lori, Amy, Jaqcui, Axel and Duane are manning the front
line, ducking behind some cars and returning fire. But they were
quickly running out of ammo.
Guillermo ran off, abandoning the group.
Dale and Andrea are atop the RV, playing Strip Sniper, and thus not
killing enough enemies.
Merle and Jenner are in the back of the Forgotten’s box truck, where
they found something amazing. Sophia followed them with a meat
cleaver and a saw, even though Merle and Jenner don’t know it..


And Now…. THE FLOATING DEAD


Shane: Damn, man! Down to pistols.
Lori: Oh my god. This is it. These assholes are gonna kill us.
Jacqui: All this because of that rotten bastard, Ed!
T-Dog: And apparently cause of that bitch Amy’s Invitational Only Fish Fry.
Shane: And the fish wasn’t even that good.
T-Dog: I know, right.
Amy: Hey, that fish was excellent. And if we had invited all of them,
there wouldn’t have been enough for us all to have seconds and thirds.
Lori: True that.
Jacqui: Yeah, it was much better for you to pig out then it was to
feed those people who were starving.
Shane: And it’s part your fault Amy. Tellin’ us to accept the prick
Guillermo into the group, just so he could betray us and run off with
one of our guns.
Amy: He’s never done that before. Plus, he was hot.
Axel: Please, I don’t wanna’ die a virgin Mr. Shane, ya follow?
Shane: Amy, just give him a quickie so he shuts up.
Amy: No way! I told y’all, I don’t get down like that.
Jacqui: Girl, you’re not fooling anyone. Everybody knows you ain’t no
damn lesbian.
Axel: Really? Well now, that is interesting.
Amy: No, it is not interesting at all. Not even a little bit.
T-Dog: What about Lori? She could do it.
Lori: Hey! I am in a committed relationship.


Everyone got silent for an awkward moment, and looked around at one
another. Then they all busted out in hysterical laughter.


Shane: Seriously, though. We need to focus before we all wind up
wiped out by these pansies.
Duane: They ain’t so tough. I think we can take them.
Lori: I’m sure you do.
T-Dog: Well, we’re pinned down, low on ammo, half of our crew either
abandoned us or got killed, and these pricks keep coming. I don’t see
a way out of this without somebody distracting them.
Shane: He’s right.
Jacqui: That’d be suicide. You can’t.
T-Dog: I didn’t say I’d do it.
Duane: Don’t worry. I got this.
Lori: Like hell you do.
Duane: Woman, I done told you, you ain’t my mom! Stay outta my business.
Shane: Settle down kid. You’re not doing this.
Lori: This is going to sound terrible, but we should send whoever’s
the most expendable.
Amy: You’re right.
Lori: Thank you
Amy: I mean about it sounding terrible, I mean. Seriously, what kind
of person are you?
Lori: Hey, there’s no easy answers here, I’m just trying to take
lemons and make lemonade.
T-Dog: Make lemonade? What is that, white people slang for taking a piss?
Axel: If it is, can I watch?
Jacqui: Oh, god. That’s just nasty. That’s it. Just send him.
Amy: Agreed. Send the creepy mustache guy to die so we can escape.
Axel: Wait, just hold on now. I’m sorry. But you don’t want me to do
it. I’m just a little fella. I’d never make it long enough for y’all
to escape. You follow?
Duane: I’m telling you. They’ll never see me coming. Let me handle this.
Jacqui: Have you lost your damn mind, son? You think we’re going to
let a child die to save our lives?
Amy: I’m good with it.
Jacqui: You just called Lori terrible for talking like that.
Amy: Yeah, but that was when she was picking. This is different. He
volunteered. Plus, I don’t really know him anyway.
Lori: No! We’re not sending this boy!
Duane: Boy?!? Boy?!? **** you mean, Boy?!?
Shane: Enough! I’ll do it.
Lori: What? No. Shane, you can’t…
Shane: I’m the leader. I started this. And I got the best chance of
surviving it.
Jacqui: He’s right.
Amy: Sounds good.
Axel: Long as it’s not me, ya follow?
Shane: Y’all lay down some cover fire for me. I’ll get past that
tree over there and draw their fire. Soon as they open up on me,
T-Dog, you get everybody out of here.
T-Dog: Will do.
Shane: Don’t even look back.
T-Dog: Don’t worry, I won’t.
Shane: Just get as far away as possible.
T-Dog: I plan on it.
Shane: Uh, ok, well then guess this is it.
Lori: Shane, I love you.
Shane: Uh, Yeah…uh…I like you a lot too.
Amy: Ooh. Burn.


Shane nodded at everybody, and they opened fire on the enemy. He
started to make a run for the tree as planned. Suddenly they heard
the sound of a vaguely familiar voice. “Say hello to all of my little
friends!” Charging over the hillside came Guillermo riding the horse,
followed by Felipe and the rest of the Vatos. They were well armed,
and blasted through the Forgotten of season one. The entire battle
took only a matter of minutes. They yelled a battle cry in Spanish.


Axel: Oh my god! They’re zombie ghosts! Listen to that awful
grumbling they’re doing.
Jaqui: You stupid ass. That’s not grumbling, it’s Spanish.
Shane: Hey, that was pretty cool man. What’re you, military.
Guillermo: No. I’m the JANITOR. And I’m here to clean shit up.
Duane: Why is he proud to clean up shit?
T-Dog: Yeah, that doesn’t make you sound cool in any language.
Amy: I’m just glad you’re back. I knew you wouldn’t leave us.
Lori: No you didn’t.
Shane: None of that matters now. What matters is that we’re still
floating and you came back. Now let’s find out what happened to the
rest of our crew.

 

"My Kind of Party"

Last, time, on THE FLOATING DEAD….
The war vs the Forgotten, nameless characters of season one’s Camp
Atlanta ended in victory for Shane and his crew.
Guillermo, who they thought ran off, abandoning the group, showed up
at the last minute with the Vatos as backup.
Dale and Andrea were atop the RV, playing Strip Sniper. Andrea lost
at least her belt and both shoes.
Merle and Jenner are in the back of the Forgotten’s box truck, where
they found something amazing. Sophia followed them with a meat
cleaver and a saw, even though Merle and Jenner don’t know it..


And Now…. THE FLOATING DEAD


Shane: None of that matters now. What matters is that we’re still
floating and you came back. Now let’s find out what happened to the
rest of our crew.
Amy: Andrea! Come on down! It’s over!
Andrea: On my way!
Dale: Do we have to do this?
Andrea: Afraid so, honey.


Andrea descended the ladder first. She approached the group wearing
only her t-shirt and panties.
Lori: Hey! What the hell are you doing?!?
T-Dog: Where’s your clothes at girl?
Jacqui: Now we know why the sniper plan didn’t work.
Shane: Why you runnin’ around like that?
Andrea: (singing) Got my t-shirt and my panties on, t-shirt and my
panties on! (as she danced toward Shane a little)
Axel: Well all right! This is my kind of party, ya follow?
Amy: Seriously, what’re you doing?
Andrea: New game I invented. Strip Sniper. It combines two of my
favorite things; pointless nudity and killing people I’ve never met.
Duane: Lady, you are a serious freak.
Guillermo: You ain’t bullshitin’.
Lori: I can’t believe this shit. Where’s Dale?
Andrea: Oh, he’s coming. Dale, c’mon out please.


Andrea had a sly grin on her face. Dale slowly stepped out from
behind the RV. He was completely naked except he was holding his hat
in front of him. They all looked shocked.
Shane: Ahh-Hahh-Hahhahahaha! You ugly old prick! Hah-hah-hah!
Axel: Well, now, this party just got a little weird, ya’ follow?
Jacqui: And you KNOW it’s weird if this guy says it’s weird.
T-Dog: Man, take your nasty ass back there and put some clothes on.
Nobody wants to see that shit.
Andrea: Not so fast. Not until we see all of it.
Dale: Only because I made a bet and I’m a man of my word. Oh, boy. Here goes.


Dale lifted his arms in the air, exposing himself to the group. He
had an awkward smile on his face.
Dale: Well, here I am, in my full natural beauty.
T-Dog: Ahhhhh! My eyes!
Duane: EWWWWWW!
Lori: Damn it, Dale! There’s a child out here! Duane, cover your eyes.
Duane: Yuck! You ain’t gotta tell me twice!
Dale: No, No, this is natural. There’s nothing wrong with this, son.
Don’t be afraid.
Lori: Both of you need to learn to keep your clothes on.
T-Dog: (mumbled) Ain’t that the pot calling the kettle black.
Dale: Lori, don’t be like that.
Jacqui: It’s like a train wreck. You can’t look away.
Amy: I know, right. Look how far it hangs down.
Andrea: That’s what I love about him.
Shane: Lori’s right. You both go on and get dressed now. Dale, that’s nasty.
Dale: (with his hands on his hips) If it’s so bad, how come you keep
looking at it.
Shane: That’s disgusting.
Dale: (as he wiggled his hips and smiled) Then stop looking at it.
Shane: You son of a bitch! If you don’t go put some clothes on, I’m
gonna’ beat your ass!
Dale: Oh yeah? Well just say ahhhhhhh.
Shane: Get on!
Abuela (Felipe’s grandmother): Why the nice man all naked? (as she smiled)
Felipe: I don’t know. He’s crazy.


Dale and Andrea headed back to the RV.
Andrea: Why’d you have to antagonize him like that.
Dale: Don’t you worry. I know what it takes to make him hot.
Andrea just gave him a confused look as they started getting dressed.


Shane: We gotta’ find the others now. T-Dog, Axel, and Guillermo
come with me. The rest of y’all hang back. We don’t know what we’re
gonna find.
Everyone else stayed over by the Vatos while Shane, T-Dog, Axel, and
Guillermo headed toward the enemy’s box truck. They quietly crept
through the fallen forgotten characters. As they got closer, they
heard laughing coming from the back of the truck. Shane motioned to
the others to be ready, and yanked the doors wide open.
WOOSH. A gigantic cloud of smoke poured out of the back. Standing in
the cloud were a giddy looking Merle and Jenner. They had a bong, and
there were large green bricks wrapped in cellophane.


Merle: Whaaaassssssuuuppppppp?
Jenner: heh-heh. Whaaaasssssuuuppppiiiii?
Shane: What the ****?!?
Merle: Check it out y’all. We hit the motherload!
Jenner: Prescription grade marijuana!
Axel: Holy Shit!
Guillermo: Damn, that’s a lot of weed.
Merle: Heh-heh. Yeah it is.
T-Dog: Man, these mother ****ers are stoned.
Shane: You assholes! This is what you were doing when you were
supposed to be fighting?!? I almost died because of this shit!
Jenner: Come now, Shane. Don’t be like that. We saved you some.
Shane: **** you man! **** both of you!


Then, Merle and Jenner started singing.
Merle: I was gonna’ fight the bad guys, but I got high,
Jenner: ohohoh
Merle: I was gonna stab them bastards, right in the eye,
Jenner: Ohohohohoh
Merle: Now Shane’s all pissed off, and I know why
Jenner: Hey, hey
Merle: Cause I got high, cause I got high, cause I got high.
Jenner: dododo-dudu


Guillermo: Damn. That must be some real good shit.
Jenner: Hop on up. We’ll share.
Merle: Yeah. Close the doors and we’ll bake this bitch out again.
Axel: Well ok then, Puff-puff-pass, brothers.
Shane: Man, **** that! You supposed to get ****ed up like a real
man, with booze! Now let’s go.
T-Dog: And by the way, where’s Sophia?
Jenner: Sophia?
Shane: Yeah, where’s she at?
Jenner: How would we know that? We’re not going to get a child high.
I’m a doctor, for god’s sake.
T-Dog: You really don’t know?
Merle: Know what?
Shane: She followed y’all when you crept out here.
Guillermo: So if she’s not with these two stoners, where is she?
Merle: Shit, we gotta find her!


They jumped out of the truck and looked around, but there was no sign
of her. Sophia was missing.

 

"Knights Templar"

Last, time, on THE FLOATING DEAD….
The war vs the Forgotten, nameless characters of season one’s Camp
Atlanta ended in victory for Shane and his crew, thanks largely due to
Guillermo and the Vatos.
Dale lost the game of Strip Sniper to Andrea. Just about everyone
found it disgusting. Dale feels it makes Shane “hot”.
Merle and Jenner were in the back of the Forgotten’s box truck, where
they found an extremely large quantity of prescription marijuana.
They got stoned, and even sang a song.
Sophia was last seen following Merle and Jenner with a meat cleaver
and a saw. They were unaware she followed them.
Now Sophia is missing.


And Now…. THE FLOATING DEAD…..


The whole group was together, preparing to head into the woods to
search for poor, defenseless, Sophia.
Shane: Whoa, hold up. Everybody ain’t just goin’ out there. Some
people need to stay here in case she returns.
T-Dog: I’ll stay. If there’s one thing I know, it’s that black people
and the woods don’t mix.
Jacqui: I know that’s right. I’ll stay too.
Duane: Well not me! I’m going.
Lori: Now Duane, I really think this could be too dangerous. Last
time we had to search for Sophia in a wooded area, Carl was shot.
Duane: Bitch, for the last damn time, I ain’t Carl!
Lori: I know you’re not, I was just saying that we don’t know what’s
out there and it could be risky.
Shane: Now just hold on a sec. I think it’ll be good for him. Help
toughen him up. And you don’t talk to her like that no more, Duane.
Duane: Deal. Sorry.
Lori: All right, I guess. But then I’m coming too.
Shane: Fair enough. Both a’ y’all stay close to me.
Jacqui: Hmph. (mumbling) Unbelievable. First decent parental
decision she ever made, and Shane overturns it. Then she’s just all
good with it? Hell no. He’s lucky she ain’t me.
Axel: (to himself) My oh my, you are a feisty one. I like ‘em
feisty. (then, loud enough for them all to hear) Oooh. Ooowww. My
belly. I feel a little queasy. Think I’ll hang back with Jacqui and
T-Dog if ya’ll don’t mind.
T-Dog: (as he rolls his eyes) Great. I get to hang out with the sick
guy. How the hell you get sick when you’re a ghost anyway?
Jenner: I may be of some assistance in determining that. Perhaps I
should stay behind as well.
Shane: Bullshit. You just wanna’ stay behind with your weed.
Whatever, I don’t give a damn. But Merle, you’re coming. I need your
tracking skills.
Merle: Of course I am. This is the type a shit my baby brother used
to do for y’all, ain’t it? I’m gonna’ show y’all that I’m every bit
as good as he is.
Andrea: Glad to hear it. I always knew you had it in you.
Merle: Thanks for the vote of confidence there, sugar ****.
Amy: Hey, she was being nice.
Merle: So was I, rug muncher. What’s the problem?
Dale: The problem is that you have a fowl mouth, mister.
Merle: Yep, got a way with words, don’t I grampy?
Dale: Grampy? You asshole!
Merle: Heh-heh. Glad you got some fire left in them old bones.
Dale: That’s it. If he’s going, then we’re not. Let’s go over there, Andrea.
Andrea: But I want to go. I have a gun and a knife and I like to use
them. See, I’m tough like a man.
Lori: Here we go again. Andrea wants to be a man.
Andrea: Don’t start with me bitch. It’s not my fault you like
spending your day playing good house wife.
Amy: You tell her, Andrea. I’m going too.
Dale: Oh, well if you girls are going, then I guess I will too.
Shane: No, I think it’s best if you sit this one out Dale. Hold
things together here until we get back.
Dale: Well, ok, I guess someone has to run the camp.
Jacqui: Excuse me? Now he’s in charge?
T-Dog: How the **** is he just in charge of the camp all of a sudden.
Talk about some bullshit.
Dale: Now, now, calm down Theo. It’s all good.
T-Dog: Man, get the **** away from me. Take your ass back up top
that camper before I **** you up.
Jenner: Hah, hah, ha! This is hilarious. We’re going to have so
much fun while you guys are gone.
Merle: Just make sure you don’t go smokin’ up the whole stash. I
want my part of that when I get back.
Jenner: I shall guard it as if it was the Holy Grail and I was a
Knight Templar.
Merle: The hell you blabberin’ about, doc?
Jenner: It doesn’t matter. Just know that your marijuana will be
waiting for you when you’re done.
Merle: Thanks, doc.
Shane: Ok then, let’s saddle up.
Guillermo: Count me in, too.
Stripe (the horse Rick rode into Atlanta): Me also.
Amy: Yeah! This reminds me of the group forming up in the Wizard of
Oz. Dibs on being Dorothy!
Andrea: Are you sure, Guillermo? You don’t have to do this.
Guillermo: I told you before. I’m the JANITOR, and I’m here to clean things up.
Duane: And we told you before, that doesn’t sound tough no matter what
tone of voice you use.
Guillermo: I was tough enough to save your sorry asses a little bit ago though.
Amy: Got you there.
Shane: What about your people?
Merle: Yeah, what about the Tacos?
Guillermo: The Vatos, asshole! The Vatos, not the Tacos!
Merle: Whatever.
Guillermo: No, it’s not whatever. It’s Vatos. It’s not that hard to
pronounce. I want to hear you say it.
Merle: Easy, man, easy. Vatos, ok. There, I said it. Now, you my
little beaner buddy again?
Felipe: Wow, what a dick.
Shane: The “Vatos” gonna’ be allright with you gone?
Guillermo: Felipe leads them now. They will be fine.
Felipe: We’ll hold it down here. Protect your camp until you return.
Shane: Thank you. I appreciate that.
Abuella (Felipe’s grandmother): Find the little girl, you will. Yes,
yes. You’re a good boy. Bring her home safe, you will. God is with
you, I feel.
Jenner: Hahahaha! She’s like an ugly little Yoda.
Felipe: Man, they got a lot of assholes in their crew.
Shane: So you’re really the horse Rick rode to Atlanta?
Stripe: Yes sir, I am.
Shane: It’s a shame Rick’s not here. If he was, I could say “Hey,
Rick, **** you, and the horse you rode in on!” Hahaha.
Stripe: **** me?!? That’s it, now I’m not helping. The hell with you, prick!


Stripe trotted off toward the RV. So Shane, Lori, Duane, Merle,
Andrea, Amy, and Guillermo headed into the woods to search for Sophia.
The others remained at camp under the protection of the Vatos. In
the distance, barely audible, a familiar tune was slowly getting
closer.

 

"A Special Kind of ****ed Up"

Last, time, on THE FLOATING DEAD….
During the war with the forgotten, nameless characters of Season One’s
Atlanta camp, Sophia went missing.
Shane and Merle are leading Andrea, Amy, Lori, Duane, and Guillermo
into the woods to find her.
T-Dog, Jacqui, Axel, and Jenner remained behind at the camp, under the
leadership of Dale.
The camp is being protected by the Vatos, led by Felipe (a male nurse).
Jenner’s primary reason for remaining behind is the box truck filled
with prescription marijuana.
Axel’s primary reason for remaining behind is to hit on Jacqui,
although he faked a stomach illness.
There is a barely audible, a familiar tune was slowly getting closer
to the camp.


And Now…. THE FLOATING DEAD…..


Merle led the group through the woods, checking the ground for
footprints and the trees for blood. He also kept on sniffing. Back
about five or six feet, Shane was next in line, followed closely by
Lori, Duane, and Amy. Andrea and Guillermo were on the left and right
flanks of the group. They all walked cautiously, and looked all
around.
Merle: C’mon up here boy, and I’ll teach ya’ somethin’.
Lori: Uh…I’d rather he stay back here with me, Merle. No Offense.
Shane: Ah, let him go. It’ll be good for him. We’re right here.
Lori: Ok, go ahead then.
Duane: Yes!
Amy: (whispering) Wow. Does he ever let you make a decision without
overriding it?
Lori: (whispering) Yes. He didn’t override me. He just convinced me
to change my mind. Very quickly.


Shane: Hey, you know this looks a little bit familiar.
Lori: It should. There’s a small clearing right past those trees
over there. You remember that spot, don’t you? (with a sly grin)
Shane: Oh, yeah. That’s where we…heh, heh. Oh yeah, I remember.
Amy: Wait, you guys did it over there?!? Before you were ghosts?
Shane: Yep. Doggy style. Real rough and freaky.
Lori: Tee-hee! While I was supposed to be collecting mushrooms.
Amy: But that was so dangerous. Walkers could’ve come right up on you!
Lori: I gotta’ admit, the risk made it a little hotter.
Shane: Heh. Yeah it did.
Andrea: Oh yeah? Well me and Shane did it in a car on the middle of
the road right after a big fight with a herd of walkers. That was
pretty dangerous and hot.
Lori: Shane! (as she slapped his arm)
Shane: What? We were on a break.
Andrea: yeah, besides, you were too busy with some other guy. What
was his name again? Oh, right, it was RICK, YOUR HUSBAND!
Guillermo: Man, you white people are nasty as hell.
Amy: Yeah!
Lori: What do you mean, YEAH, Amy? You’re white too.
Amy: Oh, uh.. Barely!
Andrea: Hey, there’s nothing nasty about getting your freak on a little bit.
Shane: Yeah, it’s only natural.
Guillermo: Yeah, but not in the dirt in the woods, and not when
you’re all sweaty and nasty from a walker fight.
Shane: Ah, that just makes it more exciting.
Guillermo: No, that makes it more gross. There’s a difference.
Andrea: Whatever
Guillermo: Plus, you’re passing each other around, all up in each
other’s stuff, acting like it’s the last person you’ll ever sleep
with.
Andrea: Actually, I was the last one Shane ever slept with, while he was alive.
Lori: Hey!
Andrea: I can’t help it. I was.
Shane: Well, technically, that’s not completely true.
Andrea: What?!? Another one?
Lori: Oh really? Who is she? Someone we know?
Andrea: She’d have to be. We were all on that farm together.
Lori: Which one was it? Was it Maggie? I bet it was Maggie.
Andrea: I knew that bitch was a slut.
Shane: No. It wasn’t Maggie.
Lori: Then who? Beth? She’s a child, you monster!
Shane: It wasn’t Beth! It was…never mind. I can’t say.
Andrea: Can’t tell us? You can’t drop a bomb like that in the room
and not explain it.
Lori: Yeah. We need to know.
Andrea: **** that. We deserve to know.
Shane: Ok, ok. It was Patricia.
Andrea: WHAT?!? That old bitch?!?
Lori: Why the hell would you do that, Shane?!?
Shane: I don’t know. Just cause I could, I guess.
Amy: Cause you could?
Lori: Now this, this is disgusting.
Shane: It was during my psycho phase. I walked out on her torturing
chickens, and got all turned on.
Guillermo: Wow. You’re a special kind of ****ed up, aren’t you.
Merle: Would y’all shut up back there! We’re trying to track here.
Shane: Any sign of her.
Merle: I think we’re getting close. And the boy’s a natural.
Lori: Hey, where is Duane?
Amy: If she says in the house, I’m gonna freak out.
Merle: Relax. He’s just up ahead a bit.


Suddenly, from the distance, they heard Duane call out.
Duane: Holy Shit! I found her!

 

Hahhaha! Glad you're enjoying it. Next episode should be Monday night, Tuesday night at the latest.

 

"Mustache Ride"

Last, time, on THE FLOATING DEAD….
During the war with the forgotten, nameless characters of Season One’s
Atlanta camp, Sophia went missing.
Shane and Merle are leading Andrea, Amy, Lori, Duane, and Guillermo
into the woods to find her. Using the tracking skills just taught to
him by Merle, Duane has found Sophia.
T-Dog, Jacqui, Axel, and Jenner remained behind at the camp, under the
leadership of Dale.
The camp is being protected by the Vatos, led by Felipe (a male nurse).
Jenner’s primary reason for remaining behind is the box truck filled
with prescription marijuana.
Axel’s primary reason for remaining behind is to hit on Jacqui,
although he faked a stomach illness.
There is a barely audible, a familiar tune was slowly getting closer
to the camp.


And Now…. THE FLOATING DEAD…..


Back at the camp, Dale was atop the RV. T-Dog was sitting in a lawn
chair nearby, smoking a cigarette.


Dale: All clear from up here. How about down there, T?
T-Dog: What you think, man?!? If you don’t see shit from up there,
just what exactly do you expect me to see from down here?
Dale: Whoa, Whoa, where is this coming from?
T-Dog: Whoa, whoa nothing, mother****er!
Dale: Wow, nasty attitude. Just what the heck is your problem, mister?
T-Dog: You! You’re my damn problem!
Dale: What the hell are you talking about?
T-Dog: Oh, ok. Play dumb. Like you don’t know.
Dale: I really don’t. C’mon, fella, I thought we were friends.
T-Dog: Bullshit! Friends don’t stab friends in the back.
Dale: Stab you in the back?!? I would never. You’re a valuable member
of our group.
T-Dog: Oh yeah? Then how come the second you decide you’re staying
behind, YOU’RE the one in charge?!? I would’ve been running things if
you weren’t on some slick shit.
Dale: Is that what this is about? Shane putting me in charge while he’s gone?
T-Dog: You’re damn right it is. I’m tired of being ignored around
here, treated like a second class citizen.
Dale: Now hold on just a second. You’re opinion means a lot to
everyone. We all look at you as a leader in the group.
T-Dog: Then how come you had more lines just talking about Randall
then I had in all three seasons combined?
Dale: Uh… Because… Your lines were…more meaningful?
T-Dog: Like hell.
Dale: I mean it. You’re not weak or a coward.
T-Dog: I didn’t say I was!
Dale: Well, not today you didn’t.
T-Dog: Then why’d you bring it up?
Dale: Exactly.
T-Dog: What?
Dale: Listen, being in charge of the camp while they’re on a mission
is meaningless. Let’s not let something so trivial ruin our
friendship.
T-Dog: You really think it’s no big deal that I never get put in
charge? And that I’m a good leader?
Dale: Certainly, pal. Now let’s pretend this conversation never happened.
T-Dog: Ok. Let me be in charge for a while, then.
Dale: Whoa, easy. I didn’t say all that now.
T-Dog: I knew it! Just knew you was full of shit all along.
T-Dog stormed off.
Dale: (mumbling): Jeez. You’d think his friend got a foot in his
juicy or something, with the way he’s acting.


Meanwhile, over near Jenner’s Pot Mobile (the box truck filled with
prescription marijuana)…
Jacqui: I can’t believe a man of your educational background allows
himself to be so controlled by drugs.
Jenner: Sweetheart, you have no idea what you’re missing. Now it’s
time to put this stuff to good use. Who’s with me?
Axel: Count me…(Suddenly, he paused mid-sentence looking at Jenner,
then Jacqui, then back at Jenner again)…out. Count me out.
Jacqui: Hmm. Me too. You’re on your own, Jenner.
Jenner: Suit yourselves. More for me.
Jenner climbed into the truck, and closed the doors behind him.
Jacqui: Axel, isn’t it?
Axel: Why, yes mam, that’s my name.
Jacqui: Well I gotta say, you showed me something there Axel. I took
real strength to do the right thing and not get in that truck. I’m
really impressed.
Axel: Now, that is interesting.
Jacqui: Oh no, don’t even start.
Axel: I’m sorry, I don’t mean no offense, I just….
Jacqui: Just stop. I don’t even want to hear…Oh what the hell. We
might as well.
Axel: WHAT?
Jacqui: You heard me. I’m gonna go on a mustache ride and see if it tickles.
Axel: Well All Right!
Jacqui: C’mon.
She grabbed his hand, and quietly led him into the RV, avoiding Dale’s
attention.


A few minutes later, all of a sudden, a song blared through the camp.
“I ain’t afraid a’ no Ghost!”
Dale: Oh shit! It’s Venkeman! And he’s been recruiting!
Ghostbuster station wagons flew into the camp.